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Men Are Like...

... Coffee.
rich, warm, but not 100% good for you.
... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say. 
... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 
... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 
... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature. 
... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 
... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are
... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 
... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.



From July, Viet Kieu ( Overseas Vietnamese) and foriengers who have lived in HCM City for more than one year will be eligible for permanent or temporary residence cards valid for between one and three years. Holders of these residence cards will no longer need to apply for entry and
exit visas.

Previously, long-term Viet Kieu and foreign residents of HCM City were only eligible for short -term residence cards valid for six to 12 months, and were not exempt from entry and exit visas.

The announcement was made by HCM City's Committee for Overseas Vietnamese, the Immigration Department and the HCM City Police.

The Committee for Overseas Vietnamese has also announced changes to the Immigration and Residence Ordinance that allows Vietnamese residents to invite foreigners to visit Viet Nam. 

Just Lemme Explain a Few Things Here, Please

First, you need to know I'm a man. And this is a man thing, all right. But, ladies, you should know that- - -

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do,so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger. I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Diễnđàn TiếngViệt
Ýkiến? Phêbình? Vàođây 







The truth about Indians and white men

The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial pipe eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him. 

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems." 

The chief nodded. 

The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?" 

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then 
calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time" 

The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that." 

Brazil Fan

A DDD's Collection

D'you want to listen to DDD's "sweet" voice ? :-) Click here to go to  "HoangtuBe'"


Her hair was up in a ponytail 
Her favorite dress tied with a bow. 
Today was Daddy's Day at school, 
And she couldn't wait to go. 

But her mommy tried to tell her, 
That she probably should stay home. 
Why the kids might not understand, 
If she went to school alone. 

But she was not afraid; 
She knew just what to say. 
What to tell her classmates 
Of why he wasn't there today. 

But still her mother worried, 
For her to face this day alone. 
And that was why once again, 
She tried to keep her daughter home. 

But the little girl went to school, 
Eager to tell them all. 
About a dad she never sees 
A dad who never calls. 

There were daddies along the wall in back, 
For everyone to meet. 
Children squirming impatiently, 
Anxious in their seats. 

One by one the teacher called, 
A student from the class. 
To introduce their daddy, 
As seconds slowly passed. 

At last the teacher called her name, 
Every child turned to stare. 
Each of them was searching, 
For a man who wasn't there. 

"Where's her daddy at?" 
She heard a boy call out. 
"She probably doesn't have one," 
Another student dared to shout. 

And from somewhere near the back, 
She heard a daddy say, 
"Looks like another deadbeat dad, 
Too busy to waste his day." 

The words did not offend her, 
As she smiled up at her Mom. 
And looked back at her teacher, 
Who told her to go on. 

And with hands behind her back, 
Slowly she began to speak. 
And out from the mouth of a child, 
Came words incredibly unique. 

"My Daddy couldn't be here, 
Because he lives so far away. 
But I know he wishes he could be, 
Since this is such a special day. 

And though you cannot meet him, 
I wanted you to know. 
All about my daddy, 
And how much he loves me so. 

He loved to tell me stories 
He taught me to ride my bike. 
He surprised me with pink roses, 
And taught me to fly a kite. 

We used to share fudge sundaes, 
And ice cream in a cone. 
And though you cannot see him, 
I'm not standing here alone. 

"Cause my daddy's always with me, 
Even though we are apart. 
I know because he told me, 
He'll forever be in my heart." 

With that, her little hand reached up, 
And lay across her chest. 
Feeling her own heartbeat, 
Beneath her favorite dress. 

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, 
Her mother stood in tears. 
Proudly watching her daughter, 
Who was wise beyond her years. 

For she stood up for the love 
Of a man not in her life. 
Doing what was best for her, 
Doing what was right. 

And when she dropped her hand back down, 
Staring straight into the crowd. 
She finished with a voice so soft, 
But its message clear and loud. 
"I love my daddy very much, 
He's my shining star. 
And if he could, he'd be here, 
But heaven's just too far. 

You see he was a fireman 
And died just this past year 
When airplanes hit the towers 
And taught Americans to fear. 

But sometimes when I close my eyes, 
It's like he never went away." 
And then she closed her eyes, 
And saw him there that day. 

And to her mother's amazement, 
She witnessed with surprise. 
A room full of daddies and children, 
All starting to close their eyes. 

Who knows what they saw before them, 
Who knows what they felt inside. 
Perhaps for merely a second, 
They saw him at her side. 

"I know you're with me Daddy," 
To the silence she called out. 
And what happened next made believers, 
Of those once filled with doubt. 

Not one in that room could explain it, 
For each of their eyes had been closed. 
But there on the desk beside her, 
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose. 

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, 
By the love of her shining bright star. 
And given the gift of believing, 
That heaven is never too far. 

They say it takes just a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgot your friends. Take the live and love. Until eternity. God 


Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man and this is, after all, the year 2002, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. 
This has been a public service message for women, to better understand the male.


1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do you think illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there
picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton
Adult Bookstore.

For the sailors in the crowd....... Poor Old Sailor

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake. 

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing?" 

The prostitute replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he asks, "What's that supposed to mean? "

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're
knot getting your money-back!"


Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France, gently aging but still a warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.


Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.

To my southern redneck friends

Many many years ago
when I was twenty three, 
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

"The Proph"


  To Thugian 11    




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