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Taylor went on to
describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up
and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a
pumpkin?'
"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
looked me straight in the face and said,"
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
The
truth about Indians and white men
The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial
pipe eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed
the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his
products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."
The chief nodded.
The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion,
where has the white man gone wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then
calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running
it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Women did most of the work.
Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time"
The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think
he could improve system like that."
Phượngvỹ
ở Texas
Vi Do's Collection
Register
A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register
he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout
girl if she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked," What size condoms?" The customer replied that he
didn't
know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she reached over the
counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom,"One box of
large
condoms, Register 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of
us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got to the register, he told the
checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could
have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he
stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she
gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of
medium-sized condoms, Register 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen
was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live
female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register
he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and
he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She
reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze, then picked up the
intercom and said.... "Cleanup, register 5."
Vietnamese
population in US
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 10:42:30 -0700 (PDT)
The US population in 2000 is 281,421,906
Vietnamese is the fourth largest Asian group in US with 1,122,528
(Calif ~= 447,032 Texas ~= 134,961)
Chinese (2,432,565)
Filipino (1,850,314)
Indian (1,678,765)
Vietnamese (1,122,528)
Korean (1,076,872)
Japanese (796,700)
Here is the breakdown of VNese population in the following counties:
Harris (55,489), Fortbend (5,093), and Brazoria (1409), TX, total 61,991
Dallas (21,355) , Tarrant (19,396), and Collin (3,390) TX, total 44,141
Orange (Garden Grove, Westminster etc..) CA ~= 135,548
Santa Clara
(Sunnyvale, San Jose etc...), CA ~= 99,986
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1. The Female
always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must
immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the
misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent
of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to
be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she
wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at
all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she
said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take
the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male
must cater to her every whim.
17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule
#5.
The
Fireman
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know,
we have a
wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets.
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night."
The next night he came home from work and yelled "BELL 1"
The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2," the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3," they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4"
"What
the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE
FIRE
Does
it pay?
Mother Teresa dies and goes to heaven. God greets her at
the Pearly Gates.
"Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" saith God.
"I could eat," Mother Teresa replies.
So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they
share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into
Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants,
pastries, and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet.
The next day God again invites her to join him for a meal. Again, it is
tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell
enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, and chocolates. Still, she
says nothing.
The following day, when it's mealtime, God opens another can of tuna.
When she sees this, she suddenly can't contain herself any longer. Meekly,
she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward
for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is
tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the Other Place they eat like
emperors and kings! I just don't understand..."
God sighs. "Let's be honest," he says. "For just two
people, does it really pay to cook?"
To
Thugian 12 
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SÁNGTÁC
BÚTKÝ VIỄNDU
TÂMTÌNH
SONGNGỮ
Selected
Books Online
Nguyễn
Du - Truyện Kiều
Ðườngthi
300 bài (Tang Poems)
Romance of the Three
Kingdoms
Victor
Hugo - Les Miserables
MORE
IN...
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